Thursday, December 4, 2014

To be or not to be: A baffling journey!

One’s sexuality is one’s own personal choice. Nobody really holds the strings attached to it and should not be concerned really so as to dictate whom you should love and why. The Laws and Order, and the society that we live in, largely requires to be changed to accommodate a very large percentage of people who are forced to live in the closet.

In the earlier times, the marriage was about finding the partner mate in terms of holding financial security and having social strata. By far, those rules have come to occupy a backspace and are not applicable any more. The times have come where both men and women wish to experiment, discover and find compatibility in several senses that would range from — emotional, physical and sexual. 

Embarking upon a relationship merely does not mean youngsters have the idea of marriage on their mind. Whether it is a one-night stand, a casual relationship or a live-in, commitment does not have to be on the agenda.

While the women in the contemporary times are far more empowered and are ready to embrace their sexuality, the male mind-set has changed, but not as much, as it is ought to be. The trope of the virginal bride still holds and captures their mind. Tag it as the double standards, the cost of straddling a la-la land between tradition or modernity or just plain old hypocrisy, the fact is that the youth of urban India hardly practice what they preach. 

Pre-marital sex and casual relationships have been de-stigmatized in the youths' minds but they are afraid of being found out and caught. The guilt is not about the act itself, but the fear of being discovered.

Is it fine to have premarital sex? This is one of the common question that lingers among the teens and the engaged couples. 

Perhaps, this is an indication that one is in a relationship that is progressing in that direction, but one is not sure what to do and where to head from that locus. In one’s own mind, one is probably weighing the pros and cons of the issue concerning pre-marital sex. On the positive side of the scale, there is hope for pleasure, and the fulfillment of sexual desires. The negative side of the same scale carries the weights of morals, fear of pregnancy or disease, and guilt. How do these scales balance?

Every relationship is unique in its own ways and one cannot and should not say why people make the choices they make in a relationship. Having said that, marriage is commitment and the alpha male mindset where you can get away with anything is just not acceptable. We are westernized enough to indulge in a casual sexual encounter but still caught in the patriarchal time warp where we cannot entertain the idea of our wife/girlfriend ever being touched by another man.

Law only works to threaten people, and can never make them to not do something. Sex in itself is not wrong. The most effective way of defending premarital love-making is spreading awareness of healthy sexuality among people. Awareness of healthy sexuality is not at all the knowledge of safe sexuality. 

It is essential to train individuals to mingle with opposite sex in a mature way, and inspiring them to have mutual respect for man and woman. From the very childhood itself a baby should learn to accept people as men and women, the equal partners of life on earth; not as objects to fulfill lusty wishes and ambitions, and instead opt to rejoice the acts of love.

This post has been written as a part of an activity on indiblogger. 

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